We noted several comparisons between the story told in Parashat Toledot of Yitzchak’s truce with the Philistine ruler Avimelekh, and the parallel account of Avraham’s agreement with the same ruler (or a predecessor with the same name). In both instances, Avimelekh approaches the patriarch to express interest in making a treaty and emphasizes the obvious divine assistance that accompanied the patriarch.
Another significant parallel between the two accounts is the self-righteousness exhibited by Avimelekh in both contexts. When Avimelekh approaches Avraham, he presents his request for a treaty in the form of a request that Avraham end hostilities against him: “God is with you in whatever you do, and thus, swear to me now by God that you will not lie to me, to my great-grandson or to my grandson; that you will act toward me [in a manner] similar to the kindness with which I acted toward you…” (21:22-23). Essentially, Avimelekh says to Avraham, “Swear to me that you will be as nice to me as I was to you, because otherwise, I am afraid that you will act cruelly to me, and God will always help you.” Rather than expressing any remorse for seizing Avraham’s wife during his stay in the Philistine region, and extending a guarantee that he would never repeat such a crime, Avimelekh formulates his request in a manner that implicitly charges Avraham with hostile intentions.
Similarly, after Avraham protests the Pelishtim’s theft of his water, Avimelekh offers no apology – only an excuse: “I don’t know who did this, and also, you did not tell me, and I also never heard about it until today” (21:26). Once again, Avimelekh plays the part of the guiltless party in these negotiations, insisting that he had done no wrong.
This characteristic of Avimelekh actually emerges earlier in the story, after Avraham settled in Gerar and Avimelekh abducted Sara, whom Avraham had identified as his sister. After being informed that Sara was in fact married to Avraham, Avimelekh approached Avraham and – rather than apologizing – chided the patriarch for his crime against the Philistine kingdom: “What have you done to us? How have I sinned against you, that you have brought upon me and my kingdom a grave sin…. Why did you see fit to do this?!” (20:9-10). Remarkably, Avimelekh utters not one word of remorse for putting Avraham and Sara through this ordeal, and instead turns around and casts the blame on Avraham, who had presented Sara as his sister.
The absurdity of Avimelekh’s reaction is poignantly expressed by the Talmud (Bava Kama 92). Commenting on Avraham’s response to Avimelekh – “Because I said, ‘Alas, there is no fear of God in this place’” – the Gemara (cited by Rashi to 20:11) writes, “A visitor comes to a city – do they ask him about food and drink, or do they ask him about his wife?” Avimelekh tries to play the innocent victim in this episode, ignoring the obvious degeneracy that he and his subject displayed, and casting the blame squarely on Avraham.
This pattern of self-absolution and playing the victim continues in Parashat Toledot. Avimelekh approaches Yitzchak after the Pelishtim had stuffed his well, Avimelekh himself chased Yitzchak out of the city, and the Philistine shepherds claimed rights to the wells dug by Yitzchak’s shepherds. The shameless ruler asks Yitzchak to make a promise that “you shall not do evil to me, just as we did not harm you, and just as we acted only favorably toward you and sent you away in peace” (26:29). As in the case of Avraham, Avimelekh says to Yitzchak, “Promise that you won’t cause me harm, that you will be as nice to me as I was to you.”
Throughout these narratives, Avimelekh characterizes the person who refuses to acknowledge guilt, and always insists on his innocence. He is somebody who will never admit to having acted wrongly, and in any conflict or quarrel portrays himself as the innocent victim who begs his allegedly hostile adversary for a truce. Avimelekh’s example reminds us of the exact opposite example that we are to follow – the example of honest self-assessment and preparedness to accept blame and admit wrongdoing.